The Routine Thing

They (whoever they is) say children thrive on structure and routine. Well, guess what? So do adults. At least this adult does.

I first thought my time home was temporary, since it seemed like I had a job offer looming. So my first few weeks at home were spent relaxing and just hanging out with my children. It was a welcome change.

When it became apparent the job I thought I'd landed was not going to be offered, I realized I needed to get my act together, for my sake as well as my children's. My four-year-old did not make it into the free pre-k program, and we couldn't afford to send him anywhere, so I started to do pre-school activities with them 2-3 days per week.

I had mandated job searching and appointments required by unemployment, so I was on the computer between 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. I had also lined up some side work prior to unemployment, so I was still on a 9 to 5 shift per se - but I was able to do it all from home.

We had just moved into our house a few months earlier, so I tackled some overdue projects, my hubby and I did our DIY thing on weekends, and for once, the house was clean, meals were 100 percent home made, life was feeling less overwhelming and much more simple. For me, simple is good.

Still, I struggled to get out of bed most days. I was letting the boys stay up well after 9 p.m., and they were sleeping until 9 a.m. I was looking forward to the holidays, but the holidays weren't as cheery as I wanted them to be, as much as I tried. (No, not depression. Pain. Severe back pain. I threw my back out the worst I ever have a few weeks before Thanksgiving and was sitting with a heating pad pretty much all day, every day. It. Was. Awful.)

So, with the new year came new resolve, and I decided to make a more structured schedule. For everyone. I started setting my alarm for 6 a.m. (ok, it's really set for 6:15 and sometimes I hit snooze, so sue me) and getting into motion before the sun was up.

Exercise
Ugh. Hate it! I love to run, but several years ago I busted my knee and now running is a challenge. Plus, when it's 8 degrees outside, the only running I do is from my front door to the mailbox. Luckily, our previous home owners bestowed upon us and old elliptical machine. It's a total piece of crap and I feel like I'm running in mud, but it works. I do a simple 5-6 minutes on the elliptical from hell, I do 100 crunches and some awesome yoga stretches (my favorite part) three days a week - Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

I was never a fan of going to the gym and only did so when I trained to run a 15K road race in 2007, and after because I had the membership for the rest of the year. I think the reason I always hated the idea of working out like that is because my competitive nature kicks in and I do too much. I always figured if I made all that effort to go to the gym, I might as well get my money's worth. Well, having a cranky elliptical machine in your house and creating my own, scaled down workout routine is the best thing I have ever done. Working out early gives me more energy, I'm showered and dressed before 7:30 a.m., I feel accomplished and the stretching alone has done wonders for my back.

Mornings
I do get out of bed most days well before 7 a.m. and on the mornings I don't exercise, well, that cup of coffee just tastes extra yummy. I do work at home now, and I love to write creatively (cantcha tell?) so I use the mornings that I don't exercise to do some writing. I am proud to report I currently have four novels that are a third of the way written and about a thousand rejection emails. Yay me!

School
I always said I love teaching, but would never want to teach kids. I thought about going back to get my master's degree to teach high school or middle school English, but always said I would never, ever, ever teach pre-schoolers. I have to say, I'm not only super proud of my boys and all they have learned these past few months, I'm proud of myself. We start "school" around 9 a.m., and I sit them down with an activity. We do the same kinds of worksheets every week, so now they are pretty familiar with what they have to do. I have no doubt my four-year-old will kick kindergarten's butt next year.

Meals
One of my favorite times of the day. Ok, any meal time is a favorite time for me, just ask any of my former coworkers. My last job was too structured, with no variation or freedom during the day, and I was always starving when noon came. So now, we all eat lunch between 11 and noon. Dinner is getting prepared at 5 p.m. and since I'm usually making child-friendly food (chicken tenders, spaghetti, mac and cheese) we are usually done eating by 5:30 p.m.

Night
Soon after dinner I give the kids their bath, and I do give them one every night. If not, I find they argue more about taking one. Then they are allowed to play until about 8 p.m. when I start warning them it's close to bed time. We read two of their favorite books and then it's lights out around 8:30 and they're sleeping by 9 a.m.

Cleaning House
I already blogged about my obsessive-compulsive clean routine, but since I work from home, believe it or not, I do most of it after 5 p.m. just like any other working mom. Sure, on Mondays I can take a few minutes to throw the laundry in and leave it, but all those clean clothes are waiting for me in the evening.

Being a stay-at-home, work-from-home parent is not for everyone. For me, I've never been happier. And now that I have a steady routine, I feel more focused and I think my kids do as well. They have a routine that keeps them engaged, active and on pace for learning and growing. And I have a routine that I can be proud of too.

New Year's Revolutions

The end of the year signals a time to reflect. Often, those reflections result in some hasty resolutions that are devoid of meaning and go unkept.

The past two years have been disruptive to our usual quiet. But the bumps, collisions and explosions we've faced, together, have made us stronger, smarter, and more aware of what we want. And what we don't.

It's caused a revolution.

This revolution, this sudden change, brought us down some unfamiliar paths. So, instead of vowing to do something I probably won't, I'm going to reflect on what has happened, and what it's made me realize.

Home
I'm home, and home is where I want to be. Our move to a home up the street from where I grew up was a huge change, and one I never thought I'd make. We'd make. We love this house, its location and everything it has to offer, including a short walk to drop in on my parents. Our time away in Florida taught us a lot, the move back taught us even more, and now all of that is finally behind us, we have a warm, loving space to call home, and it's never felt better.

Self
I can't really say I've realized some things about myself if they were always there, now can I? But I can say I've embraced what I used to shun, have a deeper understanding, and an awareness that used to escape me. I'm in a really good place, I'm not perfect, but I know what I need to work on, and I will get it done.

Family
I feel closer to my family - and my husband's family - than I ever have and I hope those bonds grow deeper. I thoroughly treasure my relationship with my brother and am blessed to have my parents so close. I am constantly trying to parent peacefully, make sure our children learn every day, and am so proud of my children and what they accomplish each and every day.

Work
I know what I want, and what I don't want. I don't want the corporate grind, I want to work from home, for someone I admire and respect. With a husband that works out of town a lot and two small boys, I want to be here for them and I want them to grow up in this wonderful home, and not in someone else's.

Overall, our lives have changed incredibly in the last year, some good, and some not so good. I wish I could take away the pain my husband feels when it comes to the distance, proverbial and literal, that exists with his oldest child. If there is one aspect of our Florida move that I would take back, in an instant, it would be that change. But I also admire my husband for his resolve that everything will be okay and to take the constant changes in stride.

As for me, I will keep searching, learning, growing, reading, writing, being. I love listening to the giggles of my children, love watching them learn and grow at home, and am excited about what the future will bring, even if that future does seem to be approaching far too rapidly.