The past two years have been disruptive to our usual quiet. But the bumps, collisions and explosions we've faced, together, have made us stronger, smarter, and more aware of what we want. And what we don't.
It's caused a revolution.
This revolution, this sudden change, brought us down some unfamiliar paths. So, instead of vowing to do something I probably won't, I'm going to reflect on what has happened, and what it's made me realize.
Home
I'm home, and home is where I want to be. Our move to a home up the street from where I grew up was a huge change, and one I never thought I'd make. We'd make. We love this house, its location and everything it has to offer, including a short walk to drop in on my parents. Our time away in Florida taught us a lot, the move back taught us even more, and now all of that is finally behind us, we have a warm, loving space to call home, and it's never felt better.
Self
I can't really say I've realized some things about myself if they were always there, now can I? But I can say I've embraced what I used to shun, have a deeper understanding, and an awareness that used to escape me. I'm in a really good place, I'm not perfect, but I know what I need to work on, and I will get it done.
Family
I feel closer to my family - and my husband's family - than I ever have and I hope those bonds grow deeper. I thoroughly treasure my relationship with my brother and am blessed to have my parents so close. I am constantly trying to parent peacefully, make sure our children learn every day, and am so proud of my children and what they accomplish each and every day.
Work
I know what I want, and what I don't want. I don't want the corporate grind, I want to work from home, for someone I admire and respect. With a husband that works out of town a lot and two small boys, I want to be here for them and I want them to grow up in this wonderful home, and not in someone else's.
Overall, our lives have changed incredibly in the last year, some good, and some not so good. I wish I could take away the pain my husband feels when it comes to the distance, proverbial and literal, that exists with his oldest child. If there is one aspect of our Florida move that I would take back, in an instant, it would be that change. But I also admire my husband for his resolve that everything will be okay and to take the constant changes in stride.
As for me, I will keep searching, learning, growing, reading, writing, being. I love listening to the giggles of my children, love watching them learn and grow at home, and am excited about what the future will bring, even if that future does seem to be approaching far too rapidly.
