The Guy With the Boat

I recently finished Nicholas Sparks' latest novel The Longest Ride and in it, one of his characters told a story about a guy who had a boat.

It was a small boat at first, just enough to get him from his little cottage on the beach out to sea where he could fish and catch his daily meal.  Eventually, he went a little farther out and caught bigger fish, and extra fish to sell.  The fish kept getting bigger and more plentiful, and the more money he made, the bigger his boat got until he had an entire fleet of boats and his fishing business made him very wealthy.  He was able to live in a huge mansion, but the daily stress of running a large, successful business wore him down, until all he wanted to do was retire to a small cottage on the beach and get a small row boat so he could go out in the ocean each day and fish for the pleasure of it.

Life indeed comes full circle for many of us, and the things that you once wanted to be a million miles away from suddenly you're desperate to return to.

Every year in upstate New York I struggled through winter.  I grumbled as I slipped and slid in the snow and slush, I cursed the cold white stuff as I scraped my frozen car off in the morning before work, and this past year we were unable to send the kids out in it even to play, that's how bitter cold it was.  I was so over it, I couldn't wait to never see it again.

Enter Florida.  We were given an opportunity and we ran with it, and it's been a good run.  As I packed up our entire New York household in a matter of days, I decided to take our winter stuff with us.  Sure, I've shucked some coats and things along the way, but I kept almost everything.  And as I unpacked all of my summer clothes and shoes down here in Florida, I kept thinking about the end of summer and how I liked to pull on a pair of jeans, a sweater and my cowgirl boots with ease.  I simply pushed those thoughts of seasons changing out of my mind.  I was sick of that, right?  Silly me.

Except I wasn't.  I knew deep down that as much as I loved summer, I didn't mourn its end each year, because I loved fall just as much.  And just as I was ready to scream if another flake of snow fell, each year the winters passed and I inhaled the sharp, earthy scents of spring with joy.  Winter was always something awful to endure, but spring, summer and fall made up for it in many ways.

And then there's our family and friends.  Why did I think it would be easy to leave everyone behind?  Because they would visit?  It's not same, Skype doesn't replace a warm meal with friends or a family cookout, and our children deserve to be surrounded by people who love them.

It's hard to believe that it's October already when it seems like it was yesterday that we moved to Florida.  The time has gone by so fast.  It's the Groundhog Day effect -- each day the same with no change in sight.

So, I guess I am the guy with the boat.  I have come full circle in realizing what's important.  In this short journey I have realized what I want to return to.

Now, where's my boat?

Still Searching

I came up with the term "counting years" to describe the years in youth that we spend yearning for the next level, constantly wishing we were older so we could do more.  I thought the counting years ended in my twenties when I had reached those desired age landmarks and surpassed them with little to show for it.

Yet it seems we keep the counting years alive in our minds.  In these older years though, the goal posts we are aiming for just look a little different.  Striving for a better job, more money, a better title, moving to a bigger house and so on.  Is it just that we are never happy with what we have?  For some people, I'm sure that's true, and the quest for more is strictly material and monetary, and those folks will never be happy.

For the rest of us, I believe it's more about fine tuning.  Tweaking this or that to come up with the best combination of people/jobs/environment that helps us be our best selves, and by doing so creating contentment along the way.  But how do we find contentment with what we have, and when do we decide to change our circumstances in order to be happy?

It's not that I try not to look back in life, it's that I try to grow on past experiences and glean the appropriate lesson.  I am thrilled we moved to South Florida for so many reasons.  Before we moved, my husband and I were working almost 24 hours a day between our full-time jobs and running our own business.  This move has seemed like an extended vacation, with the side benefit of us making more money and working less hours and having an entire ocean as our playground when we aren't working.  I am hesitant to complain about living here because of the amenities that surround us, but unfortunately, South Florida is missing some vital elements I need in my life to truly be content.  Having said that, I am content, for now, because I'm not quite ready for this vacation to end.

As I get older, and my counting years dwindle down, I seek a quieter life, a simpler life, and I know we will create this for ourselves.  For now, this is our journey to get there.