Overstuffed

Being home with my children has been a well-needed change.  My miserable job environment was making me so miserable, I'd become angry and impatient, and I hated it. I hated even more how angry I would get at my husband and especially our children. 

So, I made some major changes, but am always looking for new ideas, fresh suggestions.

I stumbled on a blog post recently about simplification, and while I agree with the overall philosophy, I have to play devil's advocate on some points that were made when it came to tossing the toys.  The woman who wrote the blog was channeling someone else's advice. (Sidebar: The author kept referring to "Payne." That was it. No first name, no links to Payne. Nothing. Just, Payne said this, Payne said that. Bloggers: Source appropriately and include links. If you're unsure, go to my other blog and I can offer you a free consultation ;-) 

Turns out this someone else is Dr. Kim (Spoiler: It's a dude!) John Payne who states "society is waging an undeclared war... on childhood." I totally agree about over-scheduling our children's lives and about the over indulgence in technology, but I'm not one hundred percent sold on the toy-tossing argument. I say this because I make sure the TV is off more than it's on, the iPads and tablets are hidden out of sight (ok, so I lie half the time and say I can't find them or they're broken, so sue me) and with just this small change I see my children playing with their toys and using their imaginations far beyond what that toy was specifically designed for. And I don't see that as a bad thing. I'm talking dinosaurs overtaking Thomas the Train, stuffed animals coexisting with action figures, and don't even get me started on bath time toys! That shit gets real. Real real. 

Okay, so our kids have a lot of toys.  My boys have hand-me down toys from my husband's son, from gift giving and so on.  I do weed through the toys frequently as my kids outgrow certain ones and donate to local shelters or daycare providers. And since one argument is that our kids are overbooked, what do you expect them to do when there agendas free up?  When I was little, I didn't have dance, music lessons, soccer practice all week long. I came home from school and played - outside, yes, but also with toys. And with our weather conditions, inside play is a reality for most of the winter months. 

What bothered me about this author's take was that it seemed the toy tossing being done was more for the parents' benefit, not for the child's. Let's see where we differ, shall we?

Electronic Devices

For me, in the first few days of being home I found that while we were smack dab in the middle of one of the most gorgeous Central New York falls ever, I had to drag our four-year-old away from the iPad to go outside. This is a kid who normally runs outside every chance he gets. So the tablets are g-o-n-e Monday through Friday. We do allow them on the weekend, but my husband and I have gone in and cleaned up some of the games and replaced them with preschool learning games. We left some other games on there as well, but it's funny, they tend to choose the learning games more and more frequently. Score. I am not against introducing technology as a child gets older, but yes, a four-year-old coveting an iPad is a bit much. 

Turn That Down
Loud toys. We have some toy laptops that are learning aids, and I think they work great. Are they loud? Sure. Do they teach our kids their alphabet? Absolutely. And that's one noisy toy I will welcome. 

Tis But a Flesh Wound
I routinely throw away broken toys, which helps keep us de-cluttered. However, if the toy has special meaning and it doesn't really affect its use, we'll keep it. Besides, hasn't this woman ever SEEN Toy Story? If she wants to be the one to haul Wheezy off to a yard sale, go ahead. I prefer to sleep at night, thank you.

Disney Toys

One of my favorite memories in Florida was seeing my son's reaction to meeting the real Buzz Lightyear at Disneyland. Go ahead, judge me. Tell me I'm materialistic and going to a Pixar-animated version of hell. His reaction was precious, priceless and I will never throw his Buzz Lightyear away. Never. E-V-E-R.  While I agree with the blog's author that Disney commercializes the living crap out of everything, I am going to argue back: Just because Disney is churning out toys faster than Nicholas Sparks churns out loves stories doesn't mean I have to buy those toys. Use that opportunity to teach your children that you can't have a new Buzz Lightyear simply because the old one lost his foot. In fact, get crafty and make him crutches out of tooth picks or something. (Poor Buzz.)

Get Your Crap Together

I don't mind the plentiful toys because I have a system to keep them organized, and when we are cleaning up, our boys know where things go. There's a bin for dinosaurs, bins for books on the wall - you know, a place for everything and everything in its place. I make sure of it.

Burning Books? Banned Books? Ringing Any Bells Here?
I will go through my children's books and donate the ones that are meant for a much younger audience, but I want my children to have books to read, since reading seems to be a dying art. If I find one day they are not, that's a different story, but I want them to have a world of learning and imagining at their fingertips. As a writer and a former English major, books are special to me and are indicative of learning, education. Sorry, but I'm totally befuddled by this concept. 

As I was reading the article on tossing the toys, I kept thinking to myself that it sounded like she was only keeping the things she wanted them to have versus what they wanted. Personally, I'm not a fan of guns, but our family does hunt and if the boys show an interest in that then I feel they should explore it, even if it's not what I want them to be most interested in. In fact, the author even said that she tossed the books she didn't like and kept the ones she wanted them to read. Um, isn't that censorship?

I love my children. Do I want them to have everything? No. Do I want them to have choices? Of course, even if it means choosing something that might not be my preference. After all, I want them to be their own, individual, unique selves, not some miniature version of my self, or who I want them to be. Forcing them to be anything other than who they are?   Toss that idea right out with those broken toys. (Except Buzz. We're keeping Buzz.)