Outside Looking In

As I sit here trying to collect myself after a sobbing fit, brought on when I had to answer the door to a gruff man asking for my husband (like he’s a common criminal) and hands me paperwork for family court. Lucky me, I get to be the recipient, and it’s not the first time. I am especially irritated when asked my name, age and height. I know he’s doing his job, but it took all my strength not to spit back at him, “Would you like my bra size and a DNA sample too?”

Happy effing holidays.

To be fair, this is not out of the blue, and it had to due with state regulations, blah blah blah and I'm sure it's nothing and will hopefully go away. I'm not blaming anyone for having to do the actual paperwork. I'm more upset at the way you're treated when these guys in cheap suits and shitty cars drop off this paperwork to your home. It's not fun.

As for the other stuff, well, I would like peace all year, and it’s something that I thought had been established. During the holidays, I would really like peace, compassion, and if a man is going to show up to my house in the middle of the day, he better be wearing a friggin Santa suit, spreading Christmas cheer, not interrogating me on the whereabouts of my husband.

I guess peace is a fragile thing. Maybe I don’t try hard enough. Perhaps I haven’t tried at all to be friends, let alone friendly, although I feel I’ve made attempts.  Those attempts just happen to feel constantly thwarted and there always seems to be a lack of compassion, understanding, and generosity when it comes to what we are going through.  And when my husband is getting criticized, judged, and attacked, then yes, my urge to be friendly disappears real quick. But come on, what do you expect?

The bottom line is, how do you not feel like you’re completely on the outside when someone has purposely put you there? In a glass box so they can watch, and then judge, everything you do? Use it to build an argument or agenda that you had no idea was bubbling below the surface? It feels like war, and I’m into peace, man. Love and harmony.  Just because I don’t send flowers or a hundred text messages (with smiley faces) each day doesn’t mean anything, except maybe I’m too busy.  Because I can get over getting treated like dog shit, each and every time. I can, I have and I will. But, understandably, it gets harder to want to try, and much easier to ask to be left alone.

Venison (Deer Meat) Recipes

I've recently had some people asking for venison recipes after my husband snagged his first buck on opening day. (Yay! So proud...) I've also finally gotten used to calling it venison and not deer meat. Not sure why it matters, but to hunters, it seems to matter.

While I do scope out recipes online or in my myriad cookbooks, I don't always follow recipes, if that makes any sense. What I love about cooking, as opposed to baking, is the creative process. I make the recipes my own, I don't measure - I eyeball it, and I adjust the taste as needed.  I advise you to do the same.

Happy cooking!

VENISON CHILI

Venison is lean, so you may want to add ground turkey. I do half and half. I also don’t really measure, so these are estimations. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

2-3	Cloves garlic, minced
1	Onion, diced
2	Yellow or orange bell peppers, diced
1 ½ lbs	Ground venison
1 ½ lbs	Ground turkey
1	1 can (28 oz.) Crushed tomatoes
1	1 can (28 oz.) Petite Diced Tomatoes (Fire Roasted are great in chili)
1	1 small can of tomato paste
1	1 bottle of barbeque sauce (we use Bull’s Eye)
1-2 Tbsp.	Chili powder (I also use a few shakes of Emeril’s
1 tsp	Salt
¼ tsp	Black pepper/red pepper (to taste)

Directions:

In a large dutch oven or sauce pot, sauté garlic, onion and peppers in a couple of tablespoons of butter and olive oil until tender, medium-low heat. Season with some chili powder, salt, pepper (you will season the veggies, meat, and sauces, so use keep that in mind while you season) while they sauté. Once tender (10-15 minutes), add ground venison/turkey and brown  (10-15 minutes) about half way through, seasoning again.  Then add crushed tomatoes, diced tomatoes, tomato paste and barbeque sauce, season again and bring to boil. After it comes to a boil, let chili simmer. The longer, the better. I usually let it cook all afternoon, at least 4 hours.

VENISON STEW

1	Onion, cut in large chunks Potatoes, cut in chunks (I usually buy the small gourmet ones that come bagged in the grocery store and throw that in) ½ bag of baby carrots Butter (3-4 Tbsp) and Flour (2-3 spoonfuls)
2  lbs	Venison, cut in cubes (I put one package of cubed meat in there) 1 large container of beef broth
1 tsp	Salt
¼ tsp	Black pepper

Directions:

Venison can taste gamey to some people, so I like to marinate the meat in a mixture of beef broth, Worcestershire sauce and garlic powder for a day before I throw it in the stew. This is a great crockpot recipe – if you don’t have a crock pot, just make sure you use a good thick sauce pot, like a dutch oven, and keep the heat very low while this cooks all day.

I have a crockpot/fryer, so I heat up the butter, throw the meat in to brown a little and add the flour so the flour cooks through and the meat browns. Then I toss in everything else, cover it and let it all simmer for 4-6 hours.